Ravings of the Mad

Road trip with my family was never so fun until today. My niece doesn’t stop kissing me, my husband is laughing because of my brother’s jokes. Everybody seems to be on the happy pill in this side of the country, and for some reason they told us not to cross an old bridge ahead. But I love bridges and so we cross. They always end up doing what I want, I am spoiled that way.
The bridge collapses and the 2 cars fall in the water, it’s not deep but everyone gets up except me. I linger in the bottom, not drowning but lurking. I believe to see someone hiding behind a piano. All of a sudden the water disappears; it felt like it all went to the grown. The skies changed to a gloomy grey and the air was thick and foggy. Our cars are in what used to be the bottom of the lake, there’s an upside down piano, and an old carriage that seems to be from the eighteen hundreds, all together with some other cars and old oddities. We look around, and I still have that feeling that someone watches.
You have gypsy blood, my mother always told me. You can sense things no one will ever understand. Maybe that’s why I go Mad once in a while and I decide to try and kill everyone. But that’s a secret only my husband Dorian will ever know and this is why I will never leave him. He always cleans my messes and he is always there when I need him the most, for everything else I can take good care of myself.
We walk to what used to be the edge, but I don’t know what anything is anymore. This is far from confusing, it is outrageously dream like. I wonder if this is my imagination and I am going mad again. I look at my husband but he says nothing, even when I go mad he always says something to me that is the correct thing to say to make me realize I am not sane at that moment.
I keep looking towards the piano, I know someone is there, I see their legs but I am scared that it’s my paranoia acting up and I don’t want my family to know of my sickness. I try calling Dorian with my eyes but he seems not to understand, I wish he had that psychic connection I have with my best friend, Lev. My life would have been perfect.
I feel like going on a killing rampage, I have that urge again, I feel my eyes warm with fever. I think I am sick again; I think I should go to the car and get my purse with all my meds. This is not good, I am going mad, this happens when I feel fear, I always turn mad. If only Dorian knew what is going on with me now, if he could only sense me. Where is Lev when I need him the most?
I start walking towards the car, my family and Dorian far from me now, I start talking to myself. –I can’t be going mad, this whole place is wicked, and I can sense this. I know I’m not mad right now. I see what I see, I hear what hear and I am not mad.
I try to convince myself I’m not mad at the moment. This battle is never ending. This is everyday of my life, I try to calm myself, I take the pills and I hope for the sickness to go away someday. But we all know it never goes away, it is just under control and even some say, that the madness is just asleep building up in its dreams for a day to wake up and destroy everything the sick tries protecting. Some say that madness comes when there’s no fear, when all your fear is gone and you’ve lost everything. I think I get it when I feel fear, actually. But that’s just me, who knows, maybe I’m getting better.
I hear footsteps getting closer, it’s like someone is running after me, I turn around and I see Dorian, he was worried. He said he turned around and I wasn’t there. I knew I should have told him to come with me, but he was so distracted talking to my brothers that I didn’t want to bother him. I finally told him I thought I was going mad again, and that I thought all of this was part of my sickness. He reassured me that I was seeing exactly what everyone else was seeing. I mentioned the people hiding behind the piano, and when we looked…
It was incredible. A whole civilization, maybe we were in a real town. I can’t explain the water disappearing, but everything, besides creepy, looked very normal now. There was people helping my family climb up the edge and these kids came out of the piano. I knew there was someone behind the piano.
Dorian and I walked towards the edge now. I took my purse which I don’t really think I need but we are to far from the car, so we kept on walking. There was a Sheriff; I thought they didn’t exist anymore. At least not like this one, he looked like he was taken out of a cowboy movie. But the fat version and he was accompanied by his son, that’s how he introduced himself to us. Sheriff Donaville and his sun Sully.
This whole town was creepy; it didn’t bother me, I love creepy. But my family was uncomfortable and spooked out with the way everybody stared at us. I don’t think this town’s people know what a piercing or a tattoo is, and I had plenty for them to stare at.
The more we walked, the more I realized we are walking inside the empty lake and the people were watching us from the edges. I felt like a lab mouse. This was very absurd. I am starting to get scared. I hold my niece Lily and I tell her to stay by me. I look at my brothers, William looks scared, and he is definitely scared, his eyes are popping out, which I would be laughing if it wasn’t serious. Curt is silent, he is not joking which means he is concerned as well. He looked at his daughter Lily and he told her to stay with me.
We stopped walking. We stood in the center, the town people staring. I thought this was the end of something and the beginning of nothing. All of a sudden Sully asked me to climb up; I left Lily with Curt and told Dorian that I will be okay. I took one last look at everyone and smiled. I was trying to reassure I was going to be okay but I think I did it mostly for me, my legs were actually shaking.
Sully was very nice, he told everyone to get a room for my family and he took me to dinner. I don’t think he knows that I’m married but something told me not to say anything. I think it was a gut feeling again. I must always listen to what my body says. I didn’t have my wedding ring as usual, it’s to small for me and it gives me a rash on my finger so I most likely keep it in my pocket or in my purse.
After dinner, sully invited me to the dry lake. He told me the story. He told me that it was once a lake but death dried it out. So many deaths while crossing the bridge dried out the lake. Now I am concerned, I wonder if I am dead and so is my family. Maybe we are in limbo. Weird, I was sure that I was going to Hell; I actually made sure of that, now this is upsetting. I think I will be depressed the whole afternoon. I’m disappointed on myself. I failed to go to hell. What a useless bitch, I am.
I walked to my room, I was the only one that got a room alone, and everyone else got bilateral beds all together in one room. I wanted to bring Dorian to the room but something told me not to. So I read a bit of a book I had in my purse and I went to sleep shortly after feeling drowsy.
I woke up and there was a priest at my door, he said he’s been knocking for an hour, I must have been drugged last night, I though, but I didn’t say a word. He told me that Sully wanted to marry me, the ceremony was at 6pm and that I had to go and get the dress by the towns tailor. For some reason I didn’t freak out, I think I was in really good medication at this point, maybe an opiate, who knows. The point is, I didn’t care, I love Dorian but I need to do this, I feel I need to do this to save them.
Dorian apparently freaked out; before I left to get my dress he came to the room. He was upset; he couldn’t believe what was happening. I told him what I thought. He left, unlike him, he actually left. I think I really hurt him this time. I feel awful, but there’s nothing I can do, I must do this.
I went to town, I got my dress, it was ugly white, and I hate white wedding dresses. When I married Dorian I was dressed in black with a Carmen SanDiego style hat, a crushed velvet black coat and a Moresca black dress that had a tail. I looked gorgeously Goth. Now I have to dress in white, I don’t think so. I went to a drug store wishing I can have some good old xanacs but instead I behaved and bought myself a red fabric dye. I wasn’t going to marry in black, that was for Dorian and Dorian only, instead I shall marry in red, like the blood I will shed if I don’t get my ways.
And so I got married for the second time. Sully wasn’t bad looking, he had all his teeth and somehow he seemed to like the red. We had sex, I know it’s wrong but we did. He must believe I really love him. I kept on asking him when my family getting out of there and he told me each and every time that the time is not right. I am not a patient person but I love my nieces and my brothers, I wanted them safe. Lily still called Dorian, uncle Dorian. She was always with me, I love her so much. Because of her I am with Sully. Every afternoon Dorian threw his wedding ring to a cornfield, I always went and found it and brought it back to show him that I still loved him.
I think a year passed but I am not sure, there are no calendars or clocks in this place. Lily looks so big and I have decided to make a birthday party for her. Sully is upset with me because he wants a baby and I told him I wasn’t ready. In this town not being ready for babies after you marry is impossible, it simply doesn’t exist, that’s what Sully told me. Even though it looks like a modern town, its more like a modern religious town, which means they are closed minded.

I woke up a morning and saw red… I had killed everyone and my family had escaped. Now all I have left are memories…